did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
