I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
