You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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