Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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