mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
