forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
