Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
