i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
