Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
