Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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