Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
