butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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