I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
