Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
