I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just had sex on a roof
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
