I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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