I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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