so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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