Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize