when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
