wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
