So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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