I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
