Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
