Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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