I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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