That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
