hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
