you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
