A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
