Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
