I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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