May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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