The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize