UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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