literally had 100 drinks last night.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
