I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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