SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
