Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize