haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
