I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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