So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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