Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
