Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
two words...techno handjob
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
