I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
