You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
