She said her name was "party"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
