he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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