Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
