another moral hangover. fuck.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
