drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
