I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
