I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
