im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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