he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
