I just made out with a guy for $7.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
