I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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