Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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