He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
