Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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